When I first joined the White House, I was young and driven, eager to help the president capitalize on his political mandate. So were many of my colleagues. But Reagan taught us a crucial lesson that’s in short supply today: In a healthy democracy, everyone needs a way to leave the room with dignity. He’d tell us during negotiations, “Let the other side share in the win.” While today’s culture of outrage and polemics insists on total victory, humiliation, and the viral takedown, Ronald Reagan took a more civil path. “If you get 80 percent of what you want,” he’d say, “take it—and come back to try for the rest later.” Even after tough negotiations with congressional opponents, he reminded us that the people on the other side of the table were elected by Americans, too.